The man in the red leather jacket was 72 years old.
I only found out who he was after watching him dance for ten minutes at a friend’s birthday party, wondering who this fearless stranger was who owned the floor like a retired rock star. All the other kids his age were sitting around the table, protecting their knees and their stories. He was out there living his life, laughing with the DJ, and taking selfies with teens who kept saying, “Goals. Absolute goals.”
As I was leaving, I heard one of the twenty-somethings say to her friend, “I hope I’m not that boring when I’m older.”
Ever since then, that sentence has been stuck in my head.
1. Still saying “yes” to plans at the last minute
People expect you to say, “No, I’m tired” or “Maybe next time” when you’re 70.
Say “yes” more often than “no,” and you’ll see how quickly the room changes around you. That could mean a Sunday brunch that comes out of nowhere, a trip to the beach for the day, or a movie at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday just because the trailer looked fun.
People who look the youngest don’t always have the most energy.
They are the ones who are still willing to be surprised.
A reader told me about her grandfather, who is 74 years old, and always has a packed “go bag” by the door. A charged power bank, a book, a light sweater, a small notebook, and a toothbrush are all inside. He has a simple rule: if someone calls and asks, “Want to come?” he looks at the bag before he makes excuses.
He took an overnight train to the mountains with his granddaughter and her friends last summer. They put up a picture of him in the dining car with a beer. People wrote a lot of comments, like “Who is this man and can he adopt me?”
That’s what people want. Not the cash. Not the health. The willingness.
Not living by your medication schedule and TV guide is a quiet act of rebellion.
If you say “yes” at 70, you don’t have to wear yourself out. It means taking a few moments to remind your body that it is connected to a curious mind.
You can still make plans for your naps, your rest, and your doctor’s appointments.
But make sure you have enough free time on your calendar so that when life happens, you don’t already have plans to be bored.
2. Putting on clothes that make you look like you still have places to go
On a Monday morning, if you look around the grocery store, you’ll see it: a uniform of resignation. Pants that are too big, sweaters that are too old, and shoes that say, “I’ve given up trying to impress anyone.” At 70, just saying no to that uniform is a sign of self-respect.
You don’t have to follow every trend.
You just need clothes that show you woke up with a plan, not by accident.
There is a grandma in my building who wears bright lipstick when she takes out the trash. She is 79 years old and has more blazers than my whole office. She wore a long camel coat, clean white sneakers, and a navy scarf last winter. Nothing too crazy. Just neat, sharp, and on purpose.
Two teens walked by, and one of them said, “Wow, she’s killing it.”
She probably didn’t hear them, but their faces said it all: they were seeing an old age that didn’t look like a waiting room.
It’s not about squeezing into your 30-year-old jeans when you’re 70. It’s about not letting yourself fade away. A new haircut, a jacket that fits, and a color that makes your face look better instead of worse. Little things that say “I still see myself,” so other people see you too.
Let’s be honest: no one really does this every day.
But if you aim for “presentable plus one small flourish” three or four times a week, you’re already in the rare group of older people that people talk about admiringly on the way home.
3. Flirting with life (and maybe with people too)
You can flirt with almost anything when you’re 70: new ideas, new hobbies, new recipes, and new people. Flirting isn’t about trying to get someone to like you; it’s about being curious while pretending to play.
Begin by looking someone in the eye. A joke with the person behind the counter. A compliment to the lady in the elevator who had cool boots. Your sparkle doesn’t go away when you turn 40; it just needs to be invited back.
A man I met in a café who had lost his wife told me that he felt invisible after she died. He made a small rule for himself: “Three compliments a day.” Not the fake ones. Kind, real, and specific.
“Nice hat.”
“That backpack is great.”
“You have a laugh that makes people laugh.”
People began to answer. A smile here and a short chat there. One day, a woman his age said, “You’re trouble, aren’t you?” and they both laughed. That feeling of being a little bit dangerous, that spark, that tension? That’s how envy looks from the outside.
It’s not really about whether or not you’re dating at 70.
It’s about whether you’re still talking to the world and not hiding from it. People think, “If they can still do that at their age, maybe there’s hope for me,” when your tone stays warm, teasing, and awake.
*Flirting with life means not only talking about your past and your prescriptions.
4. Picking up one silly new thing every year
Don’t worry about “useful” skills. If you want people to envy you when you’re old, learn at least one thing that sounds silly on paper. The basics of skateboarding. Hip-hop dance for beginners. DJing. Climbing inside. Even getting really good at the app your grandkids use the most.
Choose something that makes you feel a little dumb. You are still growing because you feel stupid.
I met a 70-year-old woman in a pottery studio. Her hands were covered in clay, and her apron was stained like she’d been there for years. She had begun three months before. She said, “I thought I was too old to be bad at something.” “Turns out, I love being bad at this.”
She put a picture of her bowls that weren’t straight on Instagram. Her niece said, “I have no excuse if my aunt can start pottery at 70.”
That’s the kind of envy you want to create, the kind that makes people want to get back to their own lives.
Everything in our culture tells us that after 60, you should do the same things over and over again. But your brain can still make new connections. Your hands can still learn how to move in new ways. Your pride can handle a class full of 20-year-olds who are just starting out.
One new skill every year is the simple rule. Not to get good at it. Just a reminder that **your story isn’t over yet.**
5. Having a group of friends who cause trouble
If everyone your age you talk to only wants to complain about traffic, politicians, and back pain, your energy will drop to that level. Most of the time, the older people people envy have at least one friend who is a little bit crazy. The person who suggests karaoke. The person who finds cheap flights. The person who says, “Let’s just go and figure it out.”
You don’t have to be the one who causes trouble.
You just need to stay close to one.
A retired couple I talked to meets every Thursday with two neighbors for what they call the “Bad Influence Club.” There aren’t many rules: no serious health talk, one new activity each month, and different people host each time. They’ve been to salsa classes, street food markets, and even a silent disco in the park.
Their grandchildren look at their group photos online without telling them. The comments show both disbelief and admiration: “I want retirement like THIS.”
Jealousy wrapped in hope. The exact reaction they want.
There is such a thing as social gravity: you either sink or rise to the level of the people you spend the most time with. Being around fun, a little reckless friends doesn’t mean you have to act like a teenager. It means remembering that you are not made of glass.
It also gives younger people a strong image: a 70-year-old who doesn’t look like they’re missing out on fun.
6. Not whispering when talking about money, sex, and regrets
One of the most shocking things you can do when you’re 70 is speak plainly. About cash. About your body. About things you wish you hadn’t done and things you would do differently. Not in a heavy, lecture-y way, but in a “Here’s the truth” way.
Young people really want that kind of honesty.
They know how to use filters, not truths.
At a family lunch, I heard a 71-year-old woman say, “If I could go back, I’d start therapy at 30 and stop worrying about my thighs.” The people at the table stopped talking. She continued, “And I would save 10% of each paycheck, even when it hurt.” Not luck, but that is what gave me my freedom now.
Later, her granddaughter told me that she had written those two sentences in her phone notes: “Grandma’s rules.” That’s jealousy turned into action.
When you talk about things that most people keep to themselves, you become a living manual.
You don’t have to tell everyone everything about your life. You just need to stop acting like you floated to 70 on a cloud of perfect choices.
List the mistakes and tell us exactly what you would do differently if you had 20 more years.
Tell me the numbers: how much you made and how much you spent.
Talk about how you felt on the nights you were scared and the days you were proud.
Instead of telling people what to do, ask them questions like, “What would you change now if you were me at 40?”
7. Still making plans for “firsts”
The young-at-heart have a simple habit that sets them apart from the rest: they still have firsts. It’s my first time in a new city. First time riding a train alone. First time getting a massage. The first time they spoke up in front of a group of people younger than them.
A calendar full of the same old things kills the sense of adventure faster than any birthday.
One man I know, who is exactly 70 years old, has a “Firsts List” in his kitchen cupboard. He writes down one new thing he did for the first time every month. Some are very small, like “First time trying Ethiopian food.” Some are bigger, like “First time traveling alone abroad.”
When friends come over and open the cupboard to get a glass, they see the list. People always react the same way: they laugh, stop, and then say quietly, “I should do this too.” That is envy getting closer to respect.
A life with new experiences feels longer than one that repeats itself. It doesn’t have to be big or cost a lot. It just needs to be a little strange.
Your 20-year-old self and your 70-year-old self meet in that strange place and realize they are still the same person.
8. Not giving up your opinions
It’s one thing to stop working. Another thing is to stop thinking. At 70, the people who get the most silent envy aren’t the ones who are the quietest. They read, listen, and talk about things. They change their minds.
You don’t have to be correct.
All you have to do is stay awake.
A 73-year-old man with a walking stick made the best point at a neighborhood meeting about a new playground. He said, “Design it for girls as much as boys, or you’re wasting money,” while others complained about noise and parking.
All of the young parents in the room turned to look at him. Later, someone said to me, “When I grow up, I want to be like him.” Not just sitting there, but saying something that means something. That’s the new bar.
Things in the world happen quickly, but not so quickly that you can’t keep up. Every day, read one serious article. Have your grandchildren tell you about their favorite creator. Get interested, then make up your mind.
Being quiet might seem polite. In the long run, it just makes you miss out on the talks that shape the future.
9. Making plans for the next five years, not just the next five days
Talking about their five-year plans is the most quietly radical thing a 70-year-old can do. Not their will, not their funeral. What they want to do. Trips, projects, and moves.
People think you should be counting down. Start counting up again.
I met a teacher who was 69 years old on her last day of work. She pulled out a piece of paper with the words “70–75” on it when I asked what was next. On it: learn Spanish, help out in another country, write a short book of stories from class, and ride bikes with her sister along the canal route.
Two coworkers in their forties looked at that list like it was illegal. One of them said, half joking and half serious, “You’re making the rest of us look lazy.”
That’s what you get for not making your life into a neat ending.
No one knows how much time they have. That is true for both 20 and 70. People think you’ll stop thinking at 70, but that’s not true. Planning five years ahead doesn’t put you at risk. It makes life tempting.
It tells everyone who sees you that the horizon is still out there, waiting for you to walk toward it, step by step, at a slower pace.
The quiet art of being interesting at 70
There is a strange belief about getting older: that it means losing respect. A softer voice, safer choices, and a smaller life. The nine “shocking” things above aren’t really that shocking. They’re just the things we secretly hope we’ll still have the guts to do: saying yes, laughing loudly, making mistakes, and trying again.
People will always want what others have, like money, looks, and success. That kind of jealousy goes away quickly. The jealousy that stays is different. It’s what you feel when you see someone older than you still choosing to be curious instead of scared, to connect instead of be comfortable, and to move instead of remember.
It’s a mix of jealousy and relief: “Oh. I don’t have to turn off.
That might be the real goal at 70. Not to look young, but to stay someone younger people can look up to and say, “I hope I’m not that boring when I’m older.”
And then go home and do something less boring right now.
Important pointDetail: What the reader gets out of it
Say “yes” to lifeAccept plans that come up at the last minute, make time for firsts, and keep friends who are fun.Shows a practical way to have a more colorful and less boring old age
Stay in sightDress with purpose, flirt with life, and talk honestly about things that are not okay to talk about.Helps keep you from slowly becoming socially invisible and alone
Don’t look back, look ahead.Learn new things, share real lessons, and make plans for the next five years. This changes aging from a slow end to a project that keeps changing.
| Key point | Detail | Value for the reader |
|---|---|---|
| Say “yes” to life | Accept last‑minute plans, schedule firsts, keep playful friends | Shows a practical path to a more vivid, less routine old age |
| Stay visible | Dress with intention, flirt with life, speak honestly about taboos | Helps avoid the slow slide into social invisibility and isolation |
| Think forward, not backward | Learn new skills, share real lessons, plan 5 years ahead | Transforms aging from a slow ending into an evolving project |
Questions and Answers:
Question 1: Is it too late for me to start a new hobby at 70?No way. Pick something that seems fun instead of “serious” and let yourself be bad at it for a while.
Question 2What if my health stops me from doing things?Use what you have, not what you wish you had. You can still say yes to talking, learning, style, and small firsts that fit your body.
Question 3How can I find “troublemaker” friends if my friends are all very quiet?Join groups based on what you like to do, not how old you are: classes, clubs, and volunteering. Find the ones who still laugh a lot and sit close to them.
Question 4: Don’t younger people think I’m trying too hard?Most people will secretly look up to you. Most of the time, the people who judge are the ones who are too scared to live boldly themselves.
Question 5: What should I do first if I’ve been “boring” for years?Choose one small thing: a new outfit, an honest talk, or something you’ve never done before this month. The first step, even if it’s a little uncomfortable, gives you momentum.
