As she wrapped a towel around my head, she said, almost casually, “You know you’re washing your hair wrong, right?” The salon was already buzzing. I laughed, the kind of laugh you give when you’re not sure if it’s a joke. She tilted her head, looked at my scalp like a detective looks at a crime scene, and asked what I usually did in the shower. Two shampoos, a lot of conditioner, a quick rinse, and you’re done. Her eyebrows shot up. Around us, hair dryers roared, someone fought on FaceTime, and a kid scrolled through TikTok in the waiting area. It’s just another Tuesday haircut.
Then this hairdresser calmly told me that I had been doing one of the most basic things in life… backward.
Her decision hurt.
Everything changed because of her advice.
The stylist says, “Most people scrub the wrong thing.”
Léa, the hairstylist, has been standing behind the chair for 17 years. She says that just by touching someone’s wet hair, she can tell how they wash it. She says that most people attack the lengths by rubbing them like they’re trying to get rid of a stain on old jeans. The scalp, where the oil and buildup really live, gets a quick pass.
She calls this “the upside-down wash.” The ends get all the energy, and the roots slowly die.
A few days later, when you wonder why your hair looks greasy at the top and like straw at the bottom, you see the result.
She told me about a client who came in thinking she needed a big chop. Her hair looked limp at the roots and fried through the lengths, and she was ready to cut off 15 centimeters without thinking twice. Léa asked about her daily life and listened for about 40 seconds before shaking her head.
The client was shampooing every day with a harsh “purifying” formula, scrubbing the ends like laundry, and mostly putting conditioner on the scalp. Léa didn’t want to cut more than the tips after a quick check of her scalp, so she started over with her wash routine. Three weeks later, that same client came back with roots that were lighter, lengths that were calmer, and a face that looked very different in the mirror.
Léa sees the same thing over and over again. More foam means cleaner, in our opinion. We mix up squeaky and healthy. We buy shampoo for “dry hair” and then blame it when our oily scalp keeps acting up.
She says that the scalp is skin, not something that comes after. It makes more oil when it’s stripped too hard or rinsed too quickly. The lengths, on the other hand, are already dead fiber. They need to be cushioned, not scrubbed. *The real job of shampoo is to clean the roots and scalp, not punish the ends for existing.* If you turn that around, half of the “bad hair days” make sense.
How to wash the right way, step by step
Léa’s method starts before the water even touches your head. Step one: brush. Not a quick five-second swipe, but a real detangling session to get rid of dust, shed hair, and half of the dry shampoo you sprayed on Tuesday. She insists on letting her hair soak longer than feels right while she is in the shower. At least a full minute of water running through it will lift off the first layer of dirt.
Then comes the surprising part: a small amount of shampoo that you mix with water in your hands before putting it on your head. She says, “The foam should be in your hands, not just on your scalp.”
She uses her fingers to divide the scalp into four parts: the front hairline, the crown, the sides, and the nape. Use only your fingertips, not your nails, and move them in small, slow circles on the skin, not on the lengths. The shampoo that runs down is enough to clean the ends. Don’t rub them together like rope.
She says that for thick or very oily hair, a second shampoo that is lighter than the first, almost like a rinse, is a good idea. Then a long, kind of boring rinse with warm water. This is the part that most of us hurry through because we’re cold, late, or both. Let’s be honest: no one really does this every day.
But one of the main reasons hair looks dull by midweek is that there is still residue at the roots.
She says that you should never start conditioning at the roots unless a professional tells you to. She first squeezes out the extra water with her hands, then puts conditioner on from the middle to the ends, like icing a cake from the middle to the edges.
She leaves it on for a few minutes and then gently combs it out with her fingers or a wide comb, always starting at the ends and working her way up. She tells her clients the same thing over and over again during that time:
“Washing your hair isn’t something you do quickly. You have to do it over and over again for the rest of your life. Those two minutes in the shower will determine how your hair looks for the next three days.
When she gives them a list of things to remember to do at home:
Shampoo your hair after it has been wet for a while.
Before you put shampoo on your scalp, mix it with your hands.
Don’t scrub the lengths; just massage the scalp.
Rinse until the hair feels like clean silk instead of squeaky rope.
Never use conditioner as a root mask; only on the middle and ends of your hair.
One simple routine, but it changes years of automatic movements.
What happens when you stop “attacking” your hair in the shower?
After a few weeks of washing this way, something changes quietly. Even if you don’t cut it, the ends of your hair may look less “puffy.” Without that heavy, waxy film that shows up too soon, roots feel fresher. Some people notice that they can go an extra day without washing their hair, which is a small win in and of itself.
Léa says that the biggest surprise isn’t just how it looks. People touch their hair differently now, more gently, as if it suddenly needs some rules instead of a quick scrub.
This little ritual has a way of spreading to the rest of the day. When you take the time to wash your hair well, you’re less likely to want to fry it with a straightener at 230°C “just this once.” Instead of twisting a towel into a tight, twisting turban that pulls at the roots, you could just blot it.
You pay more attention to your scalp now. Is it itchy? Tight? Flaky? At the same time, it’s both dry and oily. People who know this often change their shampoo, the temperature of their water, or even how they deal with stress instead of just blaming “bad hair.”
Léa has also noticed a strange effect on her mind. People who change how they wash their clothes often say they feel like they have more control over something that used to seem random. Less buying things by trial and error and fewer haircuts on a whim because “nothing works on my hair.”
We’ve all had that moment when we look in the mirror and think that the problem is our face, our age, or our whole vibe. Then a professional calmly tells you, “You’ve been washing your hair like it’s a kitchen pan.”
That simple truth can hurt sometimes.
It’s the most freeing thing you hear all month sometimes.
Main pointDetail: What the reader gets out of it
Don’t worry about the lengths; just focus on the scalp.Use your fingertips to massage the skin, then let the foam slide down to clean the ends.Less “greasy top, dry bottom” days, cleaner roots, and calmer lengths
Rinsing and prepping are just as important as shampoo.Brush your hair before you wash it, soak it all the way through, and rinse it longer with lukewarm water.Less buildup, more shine, and products finally work as promised
Put conditioner on the middle and ends of your hair.Put it on hair that has been towel-dried, but not on the scalp. Gently detangle.Softer hair that doesn’t have flat, heavy roots or clogged follicles
Questions and Answers:
How often should I really clean my hair?Most scalps do well with every 2–3 days, but oily types might need more. Very dry or curly hair often needs less. It’s not a hard and fast rule; it’s all about how your scalp feels and looks.
Do I have to wash my hair twice every time?No. One wash is enough for light buildup or if you wash your clothes often. If you use a lot of styling products or only wash your hair once or twice a week, a second, gentler shampoo can help.
Is it better for my hair to use cold water?The best temperature for your scalp is lukewarm. You can give the ends a short cool rinse to make them shine more, but don’t torture yourself with cold showers.
If my hair is fine, can I skip conditioner?
